Thursday, September 28, 2006
I am male. Being male is confusing to me. Sometimes I envy my office mate because he tells me that he and his wife have a very traditional marriage, and it seems that would be easier because the roles are more clearly defined. With my wife and myself, the roles are not clearly defined. She xpects me to insure our son does his chores, and hound him about his homework, and this just doesn't feel like my job to me, it seems like a mom's job. The truth is, I could care a less if he does his chores. Of course, I want him to grow up to be responsible, and be able to take care of himself, know how to clean a bathroom and dust, but I just don't feel like it's my job to teach him that.
I learned a lot about gender when I was in college. I just purchased Suzanne Vegas retrospective CD, a greatest hits, of sorts, and I was listening to Luka. I remember this song from undergrad. The song is about spousal abuse. When I hear the song, I feel guilt about being male, about being part of the gender that abuses. I absorbed a lot of guilt about being male as an undergrad. Being male was not a good thing. Men were the oppressors, the bad guys, the white guys with all the power -- sexual, social, personal -- but, this wasn't, and isn't me. I'm not an abuser. I don't try ot oppress my wife, tell her what to do, keep her on a short leash, or take advantage of her in the bedroom.
I am white, Swedish.
As a child, I lived basically in a single race region, although there were a few native americans in the area, and I went to school with a few of them. My extended family lived in the Twin Cities, so when we visited them for holidays, or when I spent a few weeks with my grandparents in the summer, I saw some diversity, but not all that much.
I remember hearing things about indians as a kid, some prejudice and stereotyping, but I'm not sure I absorbed much of that. As far as I can recall, my parents were always open-minded, but my grandparents were racist, but I think my parents tempered that racism, and, in that way, I was lucky.
Mostly, when I was confronted with people of other races, I remember feeling curiosity, not fear or loathing. I still feel that way. I guess I was sort of fortunate in the sense that when I was in college diversity was a big ticket principle. Nobody really questioned the concept, and we just all accepted that diversity was a good thing. My university had one of the first indian studies programs in the US, so I was fortunate to be exposed to the native american experience -- history, art, culture -- throughout and I learned a lot fcrom that.
I grew up in MN, in the north. I know that MN is often considered part of the midwest, but I don't see it that way, now that I have lived in IL/MO. This area is truly the midwest, part of the bible belt, and the culture here is really quite different than MN. MN is primarily native americans, Scandinavians, and germans, and those sorts of immigrants, especially when allowed to develop largely in isolation, maintained more home values than other regions where the different cultures were thrust together in a sort of melting pot.
MN's are pragmantic, somewhat liberal, enjoy the outdoors, and appreciate conservation, and are tough. You have to be tough to endure 5 months of winter. Winter wears on you, and early settlers has to be hard-working, and always thinking ahead to survive under such circumstances.
When I moved to NC after graduating from high school, I remember hearing right away that people in the south loved to hire northerners because they are hard-working. This must have something to do with the climate. Think of the settlers, in the north, you had to get the wheat and corn planted, on-time, or your family would starve in the winter and the livestock would have nothing to eat. My guess is, in the south, or even midwest, if you don't get the fields planted today, there's always tomorrow because the growing season is so much longer, and even if you enter the "winter" short on supplies, spring is not far off because winter is months shorter.
I am 37 years old. I entered my teens in the 80's. From what I remember, this was a decade of decadence, in a way. I remember abundance, big cars, big hair, fun and frivolity. I was somewhat politically active. The Cold War was still raging and nuclear proliferation was on the front burner. The Russians was the Reds and communism was a bad thing, a scary thing. I protested nuclear weapons at Grand Forks Air Force Base, and it was a semi-real fear of mine.
I'm not sure how else to characterize my generation. It seems a generation of privilege and excess to me. For the most part, excepting the late 70's energy crisis, and high interest rates, the 80's were a period of relative abundance. I never really thought about a shortage of energy, or material things/ wealth. When I went to college, I had the absolute expectation that when I graduated I would be granted a good job and I was guaranteed a middle class lifestyle. This might have something to do with class, but it also has somethign to do with the 80's.
Religion
I grew up with little to no religious belief. My family rarely, if EVER, went to church, or talked about God. I did, as a middle-schooler, go to church school Wednesday mornings for an hour or so, but that was it. We never prayed prior to eating, or gave thanks for some serendipitous occurrence. God was not a part of our lives.
I think my grandmother must have recognized this, and worried about me because of it, because whenever I was sent to spend a week or two with her in the summer, she brought me to church with her, on Wednesday and Sunday. She tried to teach me to pray, and gave me a sterling silver, braided chain with a crucifix on it for xmas one year.
To this day, I feel entirely unprepared to speak about religious matters. I don't know the bible, and only have a slight idea of who the apostles were. I miss out on a lot of thigns goings on around me because I do not fully understand the religious allusions.
Education
I went to high school in Park Rapids, MN. It was a small school, with a graduating class of maybe 300.
I tried different tacts as a high schooler, tried to be an insider, and eventually found my place on the fringes. I hung out with the smart, cool guys and gals, the folks pushing the boundaries a bit. My guy friends and I listened to punk rock, wore rock-n-roll t-shirts and ripped up jeans, and made mosh-pits during the high school dances. We didn't really drink much, and no one smoked - weed or tobacco - and we acted like we knew something about life no one else did. hehe.
We were also too cool for school. We had to do well, get A's, but not care about school or the A's. One of my friends was sort of an outsider because he didn't do that well in school. He adopted the I dont care attitude, blew off homework, reiterated how stupid school was, but he didn't do well in school, and that made him slightly apart from therest of the group. I guess it was cool to be smart, but not cool to care.
There was another group who did well in school and cared, and they weren't as cool; they were nerds. These were folks who didn't go to games or parties on the weekends because they had a research paper to write. Ironically, these are many of the people now who are highly successful, making mroe money than God, and living the high life. Little did we know at the time.
I wonder if school, peer and social pressures, the values we absorb from the dominant culture are actually less conducive to success in the real world than we think.
Class
I think I grew up a big fish in a little pond. My family was not wealthy, but as youngster, we were comfortable. We had a boat, 3-wheeler, new cars, horses, and so on, and I think a lot of people might have begrudged us some of that. I'm trying to remember exactly, but I do remember some times playing down something I had. It might have had something to do with hockey. Hockey, if i recall correctly, was kind of a working class sport. I think the son's of doctors and lawyers were playing basketball in the winter, not hockey. I can't put my finger on the memory, but there was some class issues there. My dad bought me Graff skates, which carried a lot of cache, and I had some new freaking breezers, I can't remember what they were called, before anyone else on the team, so I sort of stuck out because of it.
I think there were cliques based on class, but the lines were not clearly or concretely drawn. In such a small town, if the rich kids segregated themselves, it would be an awfully small clique. The class lines were somewhat fluid, I think, and I like this. I had friends whose parents were working class and white collar. Matt's dad owned a radio station, WEric's parents owned a resort, and Rick's dad drove the bread truck.
Family
Hmmm, this is interesting because there haven't been any divorces in my immediate family, so the family has been intact, and the same, for all of my 37 years. Sure, my grandparents have passed away, and the family has shrunk because of it, but we are all mainly intact. I've never really thought about it, and it sort of amazes me.
My family, however, is not all that close. Ironically, we've all ended up living near one another. My parents and sister live in
I learned a lot about gender when I was in college. I just purchased Suzanne Vegas retrospective CD, a greatest hits, of sorts, and I was listening to Luka. I remember this song from undergrad. The song is about spousal abuse. When I hear the song, I feel guilt about being male, about being part of the gender that abuses. I absorbed a lot of guilt about being male as an undergrad. Being male was not a good thing. Men were the oppressors, the bad guys, the white guys with all the power -- sexual, social, personal -- but, this wasn't, and isn't me. I'm not an abuser. I don't try ot oppress my wife, tell her what to do, keep her on a short leash, or take advantage of her in the bedroom.
I am white, Swedish.
As a child, I lived basically in a single race region, although there were a few native americans in the area, and I went to school with a few of them. My extended family lived in the Twin Cities, so when we visited them for holidays, or when I spent a few weeks with my grandparents in the summer, I saw some diversity, but not all that much.
I remember hearing things about indians as a kid, some prejudice and stereotyping, but I'm not sure I absorbed much of that. As far as I can recall, my parents were always open-minded, but my grandparents were racist, but I think my parents tempered that racism, and, in that way, I was lucky.
Mostly, when I was confronted with people of other races, I remember feeling curiosity, not fear or loathing. I still feel that way. I guess I was sort of fortunate in the sense that when I was in college diversity was a big ticket principle. Nobody really questioned the concept, and we just all accepted that diversity was a good thing. My university had one of the first indian studies programs in the US, so I was fortunate to be exposed to the native american experience -- history, art, culture -- throughout and I learned a lot fcrom that.
I grew up in MN, in the north. I know that MN is often considered part of the midwest, but I don't see it that way, now that I have lived in IL/MO. This area is truly the midwest, part of the bible belt, and the culture here is really quite different than MN. MN is primarily native americans, Scandinavians, and germans, and those sorts of immigrants, especially when allowed to develop largely in isolation, maintained more home values than other regions where the different cultures were thrust together in a sort of melting pot.
MN's are pragmantic, somewhat liberal, enjoy the outdoors, and appreciate conservation, and are tough. You have to be tough to endure 5 months of winter. Winter wears on you, and early settlers has to be hard-working, and always thinking ahead to survive under such circumstances.
When I moved to NC after graduating from high school, I remember hearing right away that people in the south loved to hire northerners because they are hard-working. This must have something to do with the climate. Think of the settlers, in the north, you had to get the wheat and corn planted, on-time, or your family would starve in the winter and the livestock would have nothing to eat. My guess is, in the south, or even midwest, if you don't get the fields planted today, there's always tomorrow because the growing season is so much longer, and even if you enter the "winter" short on supplies, spring is not far off because winter is months shorter.
I am 37 years old. I entered my teens in the 80's. From what I remember, this was a decade of decadence, in a way. I remember abundance, big cars, big hair, fun and frivolity. I was somewhat politically active. The Cold War was still raging and nuclear proliferation was on the front burner. The Russians was the Reds and communism was a bad thing, a scary thing. I protested nuclear weapons at Grand Forks Air Force Base, and it was a semi-real fear of mine.
I'm not sure how else to characterize my generation. It seems a generation of privilege and excess to me. For the most part, excepting the late 70's energy crisis, and high interest rates, the 80's were a period of relative abundance. I never really thought about a shortage of energy, or material things/ wealth. When I went to college, I had the absolute expectation that when I graduated I would be granted a good job and I was guaranteed a middle class lifestyle. This might have something to do with class, but it also has somethign to do with the 80's.
Religion
I grew up with little to no religious belief. My family rarely, if EVER, went to church, or talked about God. I did, as a middle-schooler, go to church school Wednesday mornings for an hour or so, but that was it. We never prayed prior to eating, or gave thanks for some serendipitous occurrence. God was not a part of our lives.
I think my grandmother must have recognized this, and worried about me because of it, because whenever I was sent to spend a week or two with her in the summer, she brought me to church with her, on Wednesday and Sunday. She tried to teach me to pray, and gave me a sterling silver, braided chain with a crucifix on it for xmas one year.
To this day, I feel entirely unprepared to speak about religious matters. I don't know the bible, and only have a slight idea of who the apostles were. I miss out on a lot of thigns goings on around me because I do not fully understand the religious allusions.
Education
I went to high school in Park Rapids, MN. It was a small school, with a graduating class of maybe 300.
I tried different tacts as a high schooler, tried to be an insider, and eventually found my place on the fringes. I hung out with the smart, cool guys and gals, the folks pushing the boundaries a bit. My guy friends and I listened to punk rock, wore rock-n-roll t-shirts and ripped up jeans, and made mosh-pits during the high school dances. We didn't really drink much, and no one smoked - weed or tobacco - and we acted like we knew something about life no one else did. hehe.
We were also too cool for school. We had to do well, get A's, but not care about school or the A's. One of my friends was sort of an outsider because he didn't do that well in school. He adopted the I dont care attitude, blew off homework, reiterated how stupid school was, but he didn't do well in school, and that made him slightly apart from therest of the group. I guess it was cool to be smart, but not cool to care.
There was another group who did well in school and cared, and they weren't as cool; they were nerds. These were folks who didn't go to games or parties on the weekends because they had a research paper to write. Ironically, these are many of the people now who are highly successful, making mroe money than God, and living the high life. Little did we know at the time.
I wonder if school, peer and social pressures, the values we absorb from the dominant culture are actually less conducive to success in the real world than we think.
Class
I think I grew up a big fish in a little pond. My family was not wealthy, but as youngster, we were comfortable. We had a boat, 3-wheeler, new cars, horses, and so on, and I think a lot of people might have begrudged us some of that. I'm trying to remember exactly, but I do remember some times playing down something I had. It might have had something to do with hockey. Hockey, if i recall correctly, was kind of a working class sport. I think the son's of doctors and lawyers were playing basketball in the winter, not hockey. I can't put my finger on the memory, but there was some class issues there. My dad bought me Graff skates, which carried a lot of cache, and I had some new freaking breezers, I can't remember what they were called, before anyone else on the team, so I sort of stuck out because of it.
I think there were cliques based on class, but the lines were not clearly or concretely drawn. In such a small town, if the rich kids segregated themselves, it would be an awfully small clique. The class lines were somewhat fluid, I think, and I like this. I had friends whose parents were working class and white collar. Matt's dad owned a radio station, WEric's parents owned a resort, and Rick's dad drove the bread truck.
Family
Hmmm, this is interesting because there haven't been any divorces in my immediate family, so the family has been intact, and the same, for all of my 37 years. Sure, my grandparents have passed away, and the family has shrunk because of it, but we are all mainly intact. I've never really thought about it, and it sort of amazes me.
My family, however, is not all that close. Ironically, we've all ended up living near one another. My parents and sister live in
I am male. Being male is confusing to me. Sometimes I envy my office mate because he tells me that he and his wife have a very traditional marriage, and it seems that would be easier because the roles are more clearly defined. With my wife and myself, the roles are not clearly defined. She xpects me to insure our son does his chores, and hound him about his homework, and this just doesn't feel like my job to me, it seems like a mom's job. The truth is, I could care a less if he does his chores. Of course, I want him to grow up to be responsible, and be able to take care of himself, know how to clean a bathroom and dust, but I just don't feel like it's my job to teach him that.
I learned a lot about gender when I was in college. I just purchased Suzanne Vegas retrospective CD, a greatest hits, of sorts, and I was listening to Luka. I remember this song from undergrad. The song is about spousal abuse. When I hear the song, I feel guilt about being male, about being part of the gender that abuses. I absorbed a lot of guilt about being male as an undergrad. Being male was not a good thing. Men were the oppressors, the bad guys, the white guys with all the power -- sexual, social, personal -- but, this wasn't, and isn't me. I'm not an abuser. I don't try ot oppress my wife, tell her what to do, keep her on a short leash, or take advantage of her in the bedroom.
I am white, Swedish.
As a child, I lived basically in a single race region, although there were a few native americans in the area, and I went to school with a few of them. My extended family lived in the Twin Cities, so when we visited them for holidays, or when I spent a few weeks with my grandparents in the summer, I saw some diversity, but not all that much.
I remember hearing things about indians as a kid, some prejudice and stereotyping, but I'm not sure I absorbed much of that. As far as I can recall, my parents were always open-minded, but my grandparents were racist, but I think my parents tempered that racism, and, in that way, I was lucky.
Mostly, when I was confronted with people of other races, I remember feeling curiosity, not fear or loathing. I still feel that way. I guess I was sort of fortunate in the sense that when I was in college diversity was a big ticket principle. Nobody really questioned the concept, and we just all accepted that diversity was a good thing. My university had one of the first indian studies programs in the US, so I was fortunate to be exposed to the native american experience -- history, art, culture -- throughout and I learned a lot fcrom that.
I grew up in MN, in the north. I know that MN is often considered part of the midwest, but I don't see it that way, now that I have lived in IL/MO. This area is truly the midwest, part of the bible belt, and the culture here is really quite different than MN. MN is primarily native americans, Scandinavians, and germans, and those sorts of immigrants, especially when allowed to develop largely in isolation, maintained more home values than other regions where the different cultures were thrust together in a sort of melting pot.
MN's are pragmantic, somewhat liberal, enjoy the outdoors, and appreciate conservation, and are tough. You have to be tough to endure 5 months of winter. Winter wears on you, and early settlers has to be hard-working, and always thinking ahead to survive under such circumstances.
When I moved to NC after graduating from high school, I remember hearing right away that people in the south loved to hire northerners because they are hard-working. This must have something to do with the climate. Think of the settlers, in the north, you had to get the wheat and corn planted, on-time, or your family would starve in the winter and the livestock would have nothing to eat. My guess is, in the south, or even midwest, if you don't get the fields planted today, there's always tomorrow because the growing season is so much longer, and even if you enter the "winter" short on supplies, spring is not far off because winter is months shorter.
I am 37 years old. I entered my teens in the 80's. From what I remember, this was a decade of decadence, in a way. I remember abundance, big cars, big hair, fun and frivolity. I was somewhat politically active. The Cold War was still raging and nuclear proliferation was on the front burner. The Russians was the Reds and communism was a bad thing, a scary thing. I protested nuclear weapons at Grand Forks Air Force Base, and it was a semi-real fear of mine.
I learned a lot about gender when I was in college. I just purchased Suzanne Vegas retrospective CD, a greatest hits, of sorts, and I was listening to Luka. I remember this song from undergrad. The song is about spousal abuse. When I hear the song, I feel guilt about being male, about being part of the gender that abuses. I absorbed a lot of guilt about being male as an undergrad. Being male was not a good thing. Men were the oppressors, the bad guys, the white guys with all the power -- sexual, social, personal -- but, this wasn't, and isn't me. I'm not an abuser. I don't try ot oppress my wife, tell her what to do, keep her on a short leash, or take advantage of her in the bedroom.
I am white, Swedish.
As a child, I lived basically in a single race region, although there were a few native americans in the area, and I went to school with a few of them. My extended family lived in the Twin Cities, so when we visited them for holidays, or when I spent a few weeks with my grandparents in the summer, I saw some diversity, but not all that much.
I remember hearing things about indians as a kid, some prejudice and stereotyping, but I'm not sure I absorbed much of that. As far as I can recall, my parents were always open-minded, but my grandparents were racist, but I think my parents tempered that racism, and, in that way, I was lucky.
Mostly, when I was confronted with people of other races, I remember feeling curiosity, not fear or loathing. I still feel that way. I guess I was sort of fortunate in the sense that when I was in college diversity was a big ticket principle. Nobody really questioned the concept, and we just all accepted that diversity was a good thing. My university had one of the first indian studies programs in the US, so I was fortunate to be exposed to the native american experience -- history, art, culture -- throughout and I learned a lot fcrom that.
I grew up in MN, in the north. I know that MN is often considered part of the midwest, but I don't see it that way, now that I have lived in IL/MO. This area is truly the midwest, part of the bible belt, and the culture here is really quite different than MN. MN is primarily native americans, Scandinavians, and germans, and those sorts of immigrants, especially when allowed to develop largely in isolation, maintained more home values than other regions where the different cultures were thrust together in a sort of melting pot.
MN's are pragmantic, somewhat liberal, enjoy the outdoors, and appreciate conservation, and are tough. You have to be tough to endure 5 months of winter. Winter wears on you, and early settlers has to be hard-working, and always thinking ahead to survive under such circumstances.
When I moved to NC after graduating from high school, I remember hearing right away that people in the south loved to hire northerners because they are hard-working. This must have something to do with the climate. Think of the settlers, in the north, you had to get the wheat and corn planted, on-time, or your family would starve in the winter and the livestock would have nothing to eat. My guess is, in the south, or even midwest, if you don't get the fields planted today, there's always tomorrow because the growing season is so much longer, and even if you enter the "winter" short on supplies, spring is not far off because winter is months shorter.
I am 37 years old. I entered my teens in the 80's. From what I remember, this was a decade of decadence, in a way. I remember abundance, big cars, big hair, fun and frivolity. I was somewhat politically active. The Cold War was still raging and nuclear proliferation was on the front burner. The Russians was the Reds and communism was a bad thing, a scary thing. I protested nuclear weapons at Grand Forks Air Force Base, and it was a semi-real fear of mine.
