Thursday, September 01, 2005
Another Freewrite:
I often break my own rules when freewriting and stop to fix spelling, mechanics, or other mistakes. i think it's okay because i know that i am still working within the confines of the activity, still working within the overall process of freewriting. really, when i'm freewriting, i'm still writing without standards and without stopping, so the activity, or the process, still works for me evn though i might stop to fix and error here or there. i think it's far more important with students to do this sort of writing legitimately without stopping and without standard because they prolly have never done this sort of writing before, and i think this sort of writing is crucial in order for a student to develop a relationship with their own writing. right now, my guess is that most students have a strained relationship with their writing because they only do it when they are asked to, and for a teacher or superior, and this sort of writing task is always tainted. it's tainted becuase the student is not writing for themselves forst and foremost, and for many, i think, they have prolly never ever written for themselves.
today is thursday, a long day. class at 8, umsl class until 8. i guess this is only a 12 hour shift and i used to work 12 hour shifts all the time. i do not miss working hourly, although i probably was far less lazy when i did. i know that my conceptions of what hard work is have changed over the years. now, teaching a 3 hour night class seems nearly an impossible task. 3 hours! there were days when i used to work 16 hour days in the restairant, and come back the next morning and pick it up again. i loved what i was doing at that time. it was fun, the people were fascinating and fun. and the work was fulfilling. but, in the end, i know i could not do that anymore. i would quit or pull my own hair out and i dont think i'd look very good bald, although i considered it at one point in my life.
so i'm lazy, we've established that, i can freewrite while changing spelling mistakes and occassionally stopping to consider. these are the facts ma'am.
i'm also addicted to EQ, maybe. last night, I was starting to get a little bored because the game was moving really slowly at that time. plus, i've died twice in the last two days and that annoys me. i hate dyinmg, even though its a game i feel like i have failed when i die but sometimes there is just no way around it. kayoo is a crappy healer which is why i died the second time. the 1st time was my own fault, fighting some ukun that hit me for 500 spell dam. oh well, i know better now - dont fight ukun, and i also realize that EQ is a game that needs to be played in groups.
what else is on my mind?
assessment. meeting today with joyce ray about writing focus group. also, swic writing is discussing palcement issues and jerry is thinking that maybe the COMPASS test is an adequate means of placing individuals into 005/006/101. the research that i have read suggests that the best method is having multiples measures, such as the compass and a writing sample, or gpa and act scores. this whol business could also be rolled up with the writing focus group as well. that is assessment and palcement are closely tied and we might be talking about similar things or actions and maybe we could combine the two, placement and assessment, somehow.
i cant think of anything welse to say, i'm stuck, i'm idling and im not sused to not having something to write about. hedonism, pursuit of pelasure for pelasures sake, am i a hedonist, sometimes, but not really, becasue i dont enjoy ,y life like a hedonist would. i take too many things too seriosuly to be consdiered a hedonist. i'm not saying that a hedonist is not careful in some sense, but they do things to mazimize pleasure and i dont dso that, maximize pleasure, in fact, many times i work asains myself.
I often break my own rules when freewriting and stop to fix spelling, mechanics, or other mistakes. i think it's okay because i know that i am still working within the confines of the activity, still working within the overall process of freewriting. really, when i'm freewriting, i'm still writing without standards and without stopping, so the activity, or the process, still works for me evn though i might stop to fix and error here or there. i think it's far more important with students to do this sort of writing legitimately without stopping and without standard because they prolly have never done this sort of writing before, and i think this sort of writing is crucial in order for a student to develop a relationship with their own writing. right now, my guess is that most students have a strained relationship with their writing because they only do it when they are asked to, and for a teacher or superior, and this sort of writing task is always tainted. it's tainted becuase the student is not writing for themselves forst and foremost, and for many, i think, they have prolly never ever written for themselves.
today is thursday, a long day. class at 8, umsl class until 8. i guess this is only a 12 hour shift and i used to work 12 hour shifts all the time. i do not miss working hourly, although i probably was far less lazy when i did. i know that my conceptions of what hard work is have changed over the years. now, teaching a 3 hour night class seems nearly an impossible task. 3 hours! there were days when i used to work 16 hour days in the restairant, and come back the next morning and pick it up again. i loved what i was doing at that time. it was fun, the people were fascinating and fun. and the work was fulfilling. but, in the end, i know i could not do that anymore. i would quit or pull my own hair out and i dont think i'd look very good bald, although i considered it at one point in my life.
so i'm lazy, we've established that, i can freewrite while changing spelling mistakes and occassionally stopping to consider. these are the facts ma'am.
i'm also addicted to EQ, maybe. last night, I was starting to get a little bored because the game was moving really slowly at that time. plus, i've died twice in the last two days and that annoys me. i hate dyinmg, even though its a game i feel like i have failed when i die but sometimes there is just no way around it. kayoo is a crappy healer which is why i died the second time. the 1st time was my own fault, fighting some ukun that hit me for 500 spell dam. oh well, i know better now - dont fight ukun, and i also realize that EQ is a game that needs to be played in groups.
what else is on my mind?
assessment. meeting today with joyce ray about writing focus group. also, swic writing is discussing palcement issues and jerry is thinking that maybe the COMPASS test is an adequate means of placing individuals into 005/006/101. the research that i have read suggests that the best method is having multiples measures, such as the compass and a writing sample, or gpa and act scores. this whol business could also be rolled up with the writing focus group as well. that is assessment and palcement are closely tied and we might be talking about similar things or actions and maybe we could combine the two, placement and assessment, somehow.
i cant think of anything welse to say, i'm stuck, i'm idling and im not sused to not having something to write about. hedonism, pursuit of pelasure for pelasures sake, am i a hedonist, sometimes, but not really, becasue i dont enjoy ,y life like a hedonist would. i take too many things too seriosuly to be consdiered a hedonist. i'm not saying that a hedonist is not careful in some sense, but they do things to mazimize pleasure and i dont dso that, maximize pleasure, in fact, many times i work asains myself.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Who am I as a witer? I'm lazy. I always feel like conditions need to be just right before I can write anything. I think that's why you read in advice columns from famous writiers that they say you need to set aside time every day t write, and absolutely, under no circumstance, should you deviate from that schedule. in order to be a good writer, i think you just have to do it.
for example, when i sat down today, i did not feel like writing, i did not feel like i had anything to say, yet, miraculously, in the process of doing so, i came up wth something to say. it may not have been the most profound statement about why EQ is addicting, but it was something, a start, somewhere that i might pick up at a later date.
so, as a writer, primarily, i'm lazy.
i like writing, generally. i think it's fun to play with words. i think it's fun to discofer what i think about something. i think it's fun shpaing an idea, thinking about how a reader might respond, manipulating lnaguage, all those things are a challenge in all the best senses of the word.
so, once i've found the right state of mind for writing, and begin to do so, i enjoy it. i'm not really sure what the right state of mnind is for me. i suppose, i t all comes down to motivation for me. i have to find my own ambition for writing. and when i speak of this, often it is external to the prdocut or assignment itself. last year, when i had an assignment due, iwent to umsl to complete it. it was part of my ritual. i couldnt do it it sitting in my office or at home, but if i scheduled time for myself, then i could do it.
moreover, i oftne feel like i have to know something before i begin to write. if the writing is content-based, i want to have fully prepared myself to write by reading as much as i can about my subjetc matter. if the writing is personal, i have to feel like i have something to say in my guts, and this feeling, for me, is often a fickle and fleeting one.
for example, when i sat down today, i did not feel like writing, i did not feel like i had anything to say, yet, miraculously, in the process of doing so, i came up wth something to say. it may not have been the most profound statement about why EQ is addicting, but it was something, a start, somewhere that i might pick up at a later date.
so, as a writer, primarily, i'm lazy.
i like writing, generally. i think it's fun to play with words. i think it's fun to discofer what i think about something. i think it's fun shpaing an idea, thinking about how a reader might respond, manipulating lnaguage, all those things are a challenge in all the best senses of the word.
so, once i've found the right state of mind for writing, and begin to do so, i enjoy it. i'm not really sure what the right state of mnind is for me. i suppose, i t all comes down to motivation for me. i have to find my own ambition for writing. and when i speak of this, often it is external to the prdocut or assignment itself. last year, when i had an assignment due, iwent to umsl to complete it. it was part of my ritual. i couldnt do it it sitting in my office or at home, but if i scheduled time for myself, then i could do it.
moreover, i oftne feel like i have to know something before i begin to write. if the writing is content-based, i want to have fully prepared myself to write by reading as much as i can about my subjetc matter. if the writing is personal, i have to feel like i have something to say in my guts, and this feeling, for me, is often a fickle and fleeting one.
What? No subject line for this post? Weird.
Well, BACK! . . . in the Saddle Again. My first post for academic year 05-06. We're back at it, second week of classes, been through the tedium of the first week covering syllabi, policies, procedures, and now into the meat of the semester, the heart of each course. Does it feel good, does it feel right? Honestly, I have very little patience at this point. Part of this might be because I'm trying to adjust to a morning schedule again after spending the summer as a night own, staying up until 4am, rolling out of bed around noon. Nice, huh? Yeah, it was pretty nice, although I will admit that I accomplished nothing all summer long. The list I created of projects I wanted to complete this summer stands untouched, sadly. Basically, I played EQ all summer long. I'm totally addicted. Last night, as I was laying in bed, unable to sleep, all I could think about was EQ, and what I wanted to do next time I was able to play. Crazy. Why is this game so addicitng? I'd like a 102 student to write this ethnography, and do it well. For sure, part of the addiction is the social aspect to play. I have firends, am amazed by certain personalities, and feel obliged and responsible to the peeople I play with, and this is part of the attraction. If I say I will be logged at a certain time, then I feel a responsibility to do so. If I'm in a group and need to go to sleep, I often feel obliged to stay because I dont want to disrupt the group. The other addictive feature is the progression in the game. as a player, you are always working towards bettering yoruself incrementally at something. As a game player, this is something that has always appealed to me, and drawn me in hopelessly. You're always fighting for that next level, next ability, next scenario that was unopen to you previously. well, that's it for my first fereewrite of the season.
Well, BACK! . . . in the Saddle Again. My first post for academic year 05-06. We're back at it, second week of classes, been through the tedium of the first week covering syllabi, policies, procedures, and now into the meat of the semester, the heart of each course. Does it feel good, does it feel right? Honestly, I have very little patience at this point. Part of this might be because I'm trying to adjust to a morning schedule again after spending the summer as a night own, staying up until 4am, rolling out of bed around noon. Nice, huh? Yeah, it was pretty nice, although I will admit that I accomplished nothing all summer long. The list I created of projects I wanted to complete this summer stands untouched, sadly. Basically, I played EQ all summer long. I'm totally addicted. Last night, as I was laying in bed, unable to sleep, all I could think about was EQ, and what I wanted to do next time I was able to play. Crazy. Why is this game so addicitng? I'd like a 102 student to write this ethnography, and do it well. For sure, part of the addiction is the social aspect to play. I have firends, am amazed by certain personalities, and feel obliged and responsible to the peeople I play with, and this is part of the attraction. If I say I will be logged at a certain time, then I feel a responsibility to do so. If I'm in a group and need to go to sleep, I often feel obliged to stay because I dont want to disrupt the group. The other addictive feature is the progression in the game. as a player, you are always working towards bettering yoruself incrementally at something. As a game player, this is something that has always appealed to me, and drawn me in hopelessly. You're always fighting for that next level, next ability, next scenario that was unopen to you previously. well, that's it for my first fereewrite of the season.
